First, let’s understand the chain of command, as it relates to this incident. If and when “action” needs to be taken on behalf of the cougar….. I’ll make the call…Not Eik…Not you John. Capiche?
Second, I’ve already convened a meeting with other Chapter Presidents. And we are in agreement, I should be with her at this time. I depart on Wedesnday. During my absence, my son Ethan, will act as Chapter President. This decision is final.
You seem to be suffering from a well documented condition called John McCain’s disease…primary symptom involves a false sense of confidence, which then leads one to believe they have the ability to lead & become President. While the general public can clearly see otherwise. It is O.K., we all understand that you are in a fog and are not even aware of your surroundings right now. My suggestion is for you to find a safe room (preferably with few or no hard surfaces), sit quietly (cross-legged), breathing deeply and try to imagine a world that is rooted in reality (I know this will be hard for you). Do not allow yourself to worry…you will come through this fully recovered with a sound mind…at which time the Cougar & I will visit you in your padded room. Note: I always capitalize “Cougar” (which I notice you DO NOT…unreal)…proper respect is warranted….looks like someone needs a nice tall glass of What Are You Thinking??!!
P.S. By the way, nice concern for the injured Cougar…the picture was posted on 9/23 and doesn’t get a response from you until 9/29?…what kind of “Presidency” are you running? Has an eerie similarity to G.W. Bush right after Hurricane Katrina…..Something doesn’t smell right there?…Can’t you do better than that?
As both of you have dropped the ball on this Cougar situation, I have once again come to the rescue of a COUGar in distress. Sleeping like the young kid I am, I was summoned from a near coma existence and hastily rushed to the bloody scene! Luckily for me I am roommates with a doctor, which gives me superhuman abilities. Since she was bleeding profusely and in shock, I touched the golf ball like bruise forming and it all went away. Once she left my supervision, a bruise must have appeared since she was so sad that she had to be separated from such a miracle worker.
As for you Ohio Chapter Beanheads, I believe only Ethan could rightfully claim chapter president. The rest of you are too old…this chick is like a cougar cub compared to your wrinkles and wit.
Anyway, I do believe the Ms. Cougar should go visit here great supporters from Ohio, since as we know Ohio is a swing state, and if there is every a Cougar election she will need to win the vote of Tressel T-Shirt land! Long live Cougars, and let them heal like with the speed of 1,000 comets!
I’m pleased to report that this battered cougar is healing up! It’s been a slow process but the questioning stares are starting to dissipate. Thanks to all for the concern. I will have to pay a much needed visit to the Toledo cougar chapter for all the support I’ve received. Is there a cougar distress line to call for any future emergencies when the miracle worker is unavailable?
Indeed, Madame Cougar, there is. Please call the official “Cougar Hotline” at 419-261-4185. You will be linked to a professional consultant who will minister to any possible concerns. Additionally, this consultant has years of experience in all styles of “massage” (ie..Swedish, Deep Tissue, Rolfing, Korean, Vietnamese, Phillipino, Japanese, and, All American Staff)
One last thing….I bumped into Tony Jag recently and told him of the cougar’s tragic experience. His concern was palpable, however, he quickly turned the conversation back to his athletic prowess.
He stated emphatically, and I quote, “The Amato clan has blocked my successful initiation into the Central Catholic Hall of Fame for years now. All because of one thing…my beautiful Polish heritage!”
I tried to console him, and assured him that the Amatos love all peoples and faiths. That this blockade was in his mind, and to let it go.
Somewhat comforted by my words, he wiped the tears from his eyes, and asked me if I would like to see some photographs of his calf muscles…….
i heard this great story about a man at a bar a couple weeks ago impressing the ladies with one armed push ups. it’s no secret to this crowd who that man was.
however all of this back and forth about the Cougar has been very fun. we may need to settle this with a royal rumble of some sort between haigh and ike.
You’re right John. And perhaps I have overstepped my bounds as President, and have misrepresented the office and myself. Truth be told…. I have no real power, no vision, my wife calls me “The Neuron”, and you know what? I don’t know anything about massage.
I hereby resign from my post.
God’s speed to you Cougar,
God’s speed.
How old is the Polish Push Tony Jag? I believe he is about 15 like all those Chinese gymnasts. He has everyone fooled since he talks the talk so well. I remember him slurping xmas soup in the great city of Holland Ohio this past winter. I am pretty sure this captures the essence of the man without an age.
As for the cougar, I believe she just goes to the Cincinnati for the sole purpose of getting a crave case at White Castle. Can you blame her?
[...] more digit doesn’t slow him down from planning everyone’s social life, not sleeping, rescuing cougars, tris, qualifying for boston, and feeding the homeless. good thing he has some solid coworkers to [...]
I heard my name so I wanted to chime in … The cougars do not need saving, they are very much on the prowl … With the advances in cosmetic surgery, Baby boomers, women living longer, Title IX promoting athletics and physical fitness, cultural shift, Demi and Cameron …. This Genus/Species is plentiful and moved from an Endangered to a Near threatened Classification.
But what is not is the JAG (Jocular Athletic/Aged Gentlemen) (Pat since we are of endangered status we lowered the age to 28).. 40 years ago the JAGs were numerous.. In recent years they the have been classified as Critically Endangered due to late adoption of males to cosmetic surgery, shorter life spans, scholarships redistributed due to Title IX, and Hugh Hefner nearly dead.
So, I think the resources should be moved to the JAG and Eric is an excellent example of a JAG … and should be President
i love the JAG. can’t wait to be one myself. better be careful giving haigh the power though. it gets to his head to quickly. i think you should be the president. after all, you do have my most popular video on youtube.
remember that time pants cooked the food you like, hosted the tailgate, let you stay over night, visited you too often at school, learned how to text, took you to practice, made you feel uncomfortable when asking you about a gf or bf, cried when you left home, loved you more than should be possible. you probably do. cause it happens everyday.
Someone needs to pay for this! Cougars are endangered (& protected) in my world.
you need to take control of this toledo cougar group and protect her yourself. she’s never needed you more.
First, let’s understand the chain of command, as it relates to this incident. If and when “action” needs to be taken on behalf of the cougar….. I’ll make the call…Not Eik…Not you John. Capiche?
Second, I’ve already convened a meeting with other Chapter Presidents. And we are in agreement, I should be with her at this time. I depart on Wedesnday. During my absence, my son Ethan, will act as Chapter President. This decision is final.
Sincerely,
Eric Haigh
I got your chain of command, right here!!!
You seem to be suffering from a well documented condition called John McCain’s disease…primary symptom involves a false sense of confidence, which then leads one to believe they have the ability to lead & become President. While the general public can clearly see otherwise. It is O.K., we all understand that you are in a fog and are not even aware of your surroundings right now. My suggestion is for you to find a safe room (preferably with few or no hard surfaces), sit quietly (cross-legged), breathing deeply and try to imagine a world that is rooted in reality (I know this will be hard for you). Do not allow yourself to worry…you will come through this fully recovered with a sound mind…at which time the Cougar & I will visit you in your padded room. Note: I always capitalize “Cougar” (which I notice you DO NOT…unreal)…proper respect is warranted….looks like someone needs a nice tall glass of What Are You Thinking??!!
P.S. By the way, nice concern for the injured Cougar…the picture was posted on 9/23 and doesn’t get a response from you until 9/29?…what kind of “Presidency” are you running? Has an eerie similarity to G.W. Bush right after Hurricane Katrina…..Something doesn’t smell right there?…Can’t you do better than that?
As both of you have dropped the ball on this Cougar situation, I have once again come to the rescue of a COUGar in distress. Sleeping like the young kid I am, I was summoned from a near coma existence and hastily rushed to the bloody scene! Luckily for me I am roommates with a doctor, which gives me superhuman abilities. Since she was bleeding profusely and in shock, I touched the golf ball like bruise forming and it all went away. Once she left my supervision, a bruise must have appeared since she was so sad that she had to be separated from such a miracle worker.
As for you Ohio Chapter Beanheads, I believe only Ethan could rightfully claim chapter president. The rest of you are too old…this chick is like a cougar cub compared to your wrinkles and wit.
Anyway, I do believe the Ms. Cougar should go visit here great supporters from Ohio, since as we know Ohio is a swing state, and if there is every a Cougar election she will need to win the vote of Tressel T-Shirt land! Long live Cougars, and let them heal like with the speed of 1,000 comets!
wow, this is getting interesting. we need a follow up from the Cougar here.
I’ll ask her….she’s sitting right here next to me. (Made you wonder for a second, didn’t it?)
I’m pleased to report that this battered cougar is healing up! It’s been a slow process but the questioning stares are starting to dissipate. Thanks to all for the concern. I will have to pay a much needed visit to the Toledo cougar chapter for all the support I’ve received. Is there a cougar distress line to call for any future emergencies when the miracle worker is unavailable?
Indeed, Madame Cougar, there is. Please call the official “Cougar Hotline” at 419-261-4185. You will be linked to a professional consultant who will minister to any possible concerns. Additionally, this consultant has years of experience in all styles of “massage” (ie..Swedish, Deep Tissue, Rolfing, Korean, Vietnamese, Phillipino, Japanese, and, All American Staff)
One last thing….I bumped into Tony Jag recently and told him of the cougar’s tragic experience. His concern was palpable, however, he quickly turned the conversation back to his athletic prowess.
He stated emphatically, and I quote, “The Amato clan has blocked my successful initiation into the Central Catholic Hall of Fame for years now. All because of one thing…my beautiful Polish heritage!”
I tried to console him, and assured him that the Amatos love all peoples and faiths. That this blockade was in his mind, and to let it go.
Somewhat comforted by my words, he wiped the tears from his eyes, and asked me if I would like to see some photographs of his calf muscles…….
i heard this great story about a man at a bar a couple weeks ago impressing the ladies with one armed push ups. it’s no secret to this crowd who that man was.
however all of this back and forth about the Cougar has been very fun. we may need to settle this with a royal rumble of some sort between haigh and ike.
@ike you had no one fooled.
You’re right John. And perhaps I have overstepped my bounds as President, and have misrepresented the office and myself. Truth be told…. I have no real power, no vision, my wife calls me “The Neuron”, and you know what? I don’t know anything about massage.
I hereby resign from my post.
God’s speed to you Cougar,
God’s speed.
E
[...] Comments E. Haigh Cougar Chap… on the cougar got jacked up!juplife on the cougar got jacked up!E. Haigh Cougar Chap… on the cougar got [...]
How old is the Polish Push Tony Jag? I believe he is about 15 like all those Chinese gymnasts. He has everyone fooled since he talks the talk so well. I remember him slurping xmas soup in the great city of Holland Ohio this past winter. I am pretty sure this captures the essence of the man without an age.
As for the cougar, I believe she just goes to the Cincinnati for the sole purpose of getting a crave case at White Castle. Can you blame her?
http://thisisgonnabegood.blogspot.com/2006/11/white-castle-crave-case.html
Cougar carlson would never betray the big mac.
[...] more digit doesn’t slow him down from planning everyone’s social life, not sleeping, rescuing cougars, tris, qualifying for boston, and feeding the homeless. good thing he has some solid coworkers to [...]
I heard my name so I wanted to chime in … The cougars do not need saving, they are very much on the prowl … With the advances in cosmetic surgery, Baby boomers, women living longer, Title IX promoting athletics and physical fitness, cultural shift, Demi and Cameron …. This Genus/Species is plentiful and moved from an Endangered to a Near threatened Classification.
But what is not is the JAG (Jocular Athletic/Aged Gentlemen) (Pat since we are of endangered status we lowered the age to 28).. 40 years ago the JAGs were numerous.. In recent years they the have been classified as Critically Endangered due to late adoption of males to cosmetic surgery, shorter life spans, scholarships redistributed due to Title IX, and Hugh Hefner nearly dead.
So, I think the resources should be moved to the JAG and Eric is an excellent example of a JAG … and should be President
save the JAG
i love the JAG. can’t wait to be one myself. better be careful giving haigh the power though. it gets to his head to quickly. i think you should be the president. after all, you do have my most popular video on youtube.